Since I had my first child in 2007 I haven’t asked much of my body but to carry me from point “A” to point “B” – I certainly haven’t celebrated it the way I did before kids – before kids fitness was an integral part of who I was, I ran, I lifted, I ran some more. Since Rowan was diagnosed with CF I really started taking my body for granted.
I have only moved in a linear direction –
no quick movements –
just forward or backward…
just safe movement, nothing too quick, nothing too hard..
just enough to get through the day.
Yoga, asks your body to twist and turn and bend into FORGIVENESS and LOVE.. it asks my body to;
The last few times I have practiced I have noticed that my ability to twist and bend is increasing and every time I do it – my body thanks me. This time it’s not a whisper, it’s a sensation – like when you scratch the right spot – or get a good neck crack…. ahhhh, THANK YOU.
It’s like so much hurt and anger and anguish and suffering have been stored in my chest and legs and hips and heart and now as the movement lets the blood flow into these places on my body all of those negative feelings are finally moving out… moving away… RELEASING. What I love about Yoga is none of this is getting forced out – like with running or lifting weights – where you sort-of psychologically pound the shit out of the hurt in your life until it’s laying unconscious somewhere in your fractured psyche. Yoga asks this all very gently to move-on, to let-go…. and that’s just what my broken heart needs… it’s been beat up enough.
Yoga gives you a chance to speak very gently to the broken pieces of your soul – it lets you tell them that you understand – that you validate their existence and you understand why they are there – and then… with just a little twist deeper, it lets you tell them that while you are so grateful that they were there to protect you, now they are holding you back… with just a bend this way-or that… it lets you say good-bye. Good-bye.