On Marriage

My husband and I met in 1997.  I was casually dating the loser who was crashing on his couch and that’s how I ended up meeting my “sparkly eyed” boy.  For me, without question;

 love –

at –

first –

sight. 

It was like my soul breathed a sigh of relief that finally we had met again.

 

I won’t go into all of the details of our courtship but I will tell you it was fast and passionate.  It was that kind of romance where you didn’t need food, or sleep – just the electric loving energy that our two souls coming together created.  We would stay up until 2:00 in the morning and the poor boy had to be to work at 6:00… it was a glorious, luxurious, wonderful time in my life. 

 I love this man – deeply – profoundly with every fibre of my being – sometimes I think I love him too much.  I feel bad for him that I hang my heart so desperately on him… we have to be careful of that. Even with deep soulful love giving someone your heart can be tricky when both of your hearts break at the same time.

 In 2009 we had our second child… oh the second time around… I will always remember that time as one of the BEST times of my life.  We were so much more confident, so much more gentle with each other, we gobbled up each moment to moment knowing that this unexplainable exhaustion would end and we would one day be sad that we didn’t savour the little miracles that happen when all you want to do is sleep!  I remember thinking time and again that this was one of the happiest times of my life.  I remember thinking afterwards that it was a good thing I had a long way to fall.

 3 weeks after our second child is born we are told that she has Cystic Fibrosis – and it was like the earth opened up a huge chasm in it’s surface and he was left standing on one side of the crack and I was left standing on the other – miles and miles of width and depth separated us… it would be 2 years before we really, really, would return to each other’s arms. 

 Now we are celebrating our marriage more than ever – more than ever we acknowledge how grateful we are that the depth of our connection held us together while we both mended our broken hearts… now, we share so much about where we were for the last 2 years what we were thinking what we were feeling – admitting things that were too scary to admit when we were knee deep in the shit of it…

I am so grateful to have him on this journey with me – so grateful that he loves me in spite of my silly little ways, hell, he even loves some of those silly little ways. Mostly I am just grateful that I get to look into those “sparkly eyes” everyday.  Happy Birthday my love!

August 18, 2001 - my, my, we were young!