“You do not define anyone with your judgment. You only define yourself as someone who needs to judge.” – Wayne Dyer
Why do we do it ladies? Competition and Judgment amongst women starts pretty early I suppose. In Junior High it starts with who has the best clothes (not to date myself here but in my case it was Madonna beads and scarves for our side-ponytails and of course, leg warmers!!), then in High School it’s who has a boyfriend, who has a car, who has the best fake I.D. (not me Mom)
Enter a whole new world…. Motherhood… who can breastfeed while balancing their cheque book and removing stains from their cloth diapers… who can have their toddler potty trained in 2 hours (including poops)… Who can look fantastic on 3 hours of sleep and still deal with their children in a mild, patient and loving manner….. And the real humdinger….. who can lose all of their pregnancy weight 3 hours after delivering!
For me, personally, I have no room left for judgment and competition (except the healthy kind) – I have decided that I have enough on my plate and I really want to focus my energy on growing my kids and growing my business! I genuinely believe that whatever negative energy a person puts out to you it’s about them – not about you. Maybe they feel the need to make you feel inadequate because they feel they are coming up short. My world is a great balance of work-from-home/stay-at-home and from time to time I do feel some judgment from my friends who work full-time (they often insinuate that I sit all day and watch The View) and some judgments from my stay-at-home mom friends who say things like “I just couldn’t imagine leaving my kids with a stranger the way you do”) Sometimes it is VERY hard not to get my hackles up.. not to explain to my working friend that I often have to do what can be a very stressful job with 2 kiddies hanging on my leg…. or to explain to stay-at-home mom friends that I did in fact screen my children’s caregiver to an adequate degree and she loves my children and is not at all a stranger!
So- the next time you feel judgement- before you let it get to you and fester into a Big, Fat, waste of energy you could otherwise use on your kids or your home or your business or yourself – send that person some love and compassion and hope that they can find some peace from whatever it is that’s making them feel the need to judge you!
Can anyone relate to this? Examples of that Super Competitive Friend? Would love to hear your insight!