So, husbands….. am I right? What amazing, engaging, frustrating, sometimes simple creatures they are! My hubby and I have had some disagreements lately about work/home/kid life and he makes these generalized often hurtful comments about how being distracted by my work is not fair to the kids or “why don’t you just wash/dry/put away ONE load of laundry everyday?”….. or how about this one… “You’re really going to need to set some boundaries with work and home… like maybe have some set work hours or something hey?”…. ha, ha, I’ll let the children know that they can only eat, hurt themselves or poop their pants after 3:00 p.m.!
These comments have lead to A LOT of discussion about how he simply does not understand what it is like here everyday in the trenches! My life and my ability to wash/dry/put away laundry, get my work done, return e-mails, phone clients, wash the floors, prepare wholesome nutritious meals (or a can of Alpha-getti), is completely dictated and at the mercy of the moods of 2 spirited little girls!! Some mornings by the time I am done my work and the house is torn apart from top to bottom we get the heck out of here and don’t come back until bedtime – and the house stays torn apart until morning.
Having said all of that, he has heard me and has had some glimpses into our lives and has made genuine effort to make changes in his attitude and has really stepped up to the plate in helping me out. Every now and again though it’s so hard to not just throw down and bring it all up again – especially when I can see he is about to crack…. I want to remind him that how he is feeling right then in that moment…. I sometimes feel for days at a time- he works away from home and him being gone for 4 to 5 weeks at a time is not unheard of! But then I realize that his efforts to make my life/our lives easier and connect with our girls on a stronger level are his way of validating the hard work I do. Sure, we could kick that dead horse one more time but would I be happier or would I just be right? What’s more important?
As I was writing this I received a phone call from the husband in question that the campground where we lease a spot was hit by a tornado. Oh yeah, and he was there!! Sometimes the Universe likes to hit you loud and clear and we need a good healthy dose of perspective. I think I’ll choose happy and Happily Ever After!